Saturday, May 29, 2010

Getting Real

I think I may have a new addiction coming on - The 12WBT Forums! Everyone I have "met" so far has been very supportive and very informative. I am looking forward to the challenge to begin and think I am getting in to the right head space. Hoorah!

So part of getting real for me is acknowledging what I have done to myself over the past 7 months. I've gone from someone who was exercising 4-6 times a week to no exercise at all for the past 6 months. I have virtually regained the 15 kilos I lost last year. My disappointment is palpable. But I'm not going to beat myself up about it - I need my energy for getting back on track.

The scales informed me this morning that I have hit 105 kilos.. Ouch. Reality hurts.

I will be measuring my centimetres too because I don't lose weight easily. Last year in a period of 3 months I only lost 6.5 kilos but went from a Size 20 to a Size 16. I lost heaps of centimetres from my tummy, thighs and waist as I built heaps of muscle.

So, it's time to get real. No more dwelling in the glories or failures of the past but focus on the now and get my butt moving!

Friday, May 28, 2010

Journey Begins Again

I don't think I can count the number of times I've been at this place.

Believing this will be the last time I'm ever going to diet. That I'm going to reach my goal.

Now my goal is self-satisfaction, it's not just about getting fitter or losing weight. It's about being happy and being happy to be me. Perhaps the rest will follow. Perhaps not.

Don't get me wrong - I'm going to be exercising like a crazed woman (there have been times in the past I've actually enjoyed that) and striving to eat the healthiest I can but my goal is not to be thin or healthy or fit, my goal within all that is to be at peace with myself and to find the happiness with myself that has evaded me for so long!

I'm going to do this to get back to being the person I want to be. The person I want to present to the world instead of hiding behind these layers of fat.