Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Black hole and Good Intentions

So I wandered in to a black hole of excuses and "time issues", just in time for the beginning of the 12WBT.

I am beginning to wonder if I can take myself at my word! Can I trust myself? Who am I trying to impress by making all these grand statements about what I will or won't do? I thought by saying it, it would make me do it.... Not so far. But it has been good to look at the words I have written because they were written with good intent and they are good words. They are true to what I want but they haven't moved from words to action. These words are going to move me out of the black hole and get my mind in the right place. I am most of the way there with my food, now the exercise has to follow.

Eight days in to the challenge and I have done my first proper session of exercise, in my house. I can do that every day. I have no excuse. I can always find an hour in the day to put in some hard fitness and I will in future. I have also come to recognise that I need the gym.

I have thrown caution to the wind and decided to join up at a local gym. It was what kept me training for 12 months and I miss it so badly. I need the companionship, I need the challenge, I need someone to be impressed. The rest of my world is so virtual at the moment - I work alone over the internet for someone interstate, I study by correspondence, I have so little human contact outside my immediate family that I don't think I can do this challenge virtually as well. I need human contact to help keep me accountable and to push me to my limits! It is the only way to go ahead.

I am going to crawl my way out of this black hole by reflecting on my good intentions and turning them in to action. Woooohooooo!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Roller Coasters and Masks

So it's been a few days since I last blogged..... I have had so many ups and downs over the past week and a bit that I just simply haven't wanted to document the roller coaster ride each day!

One of the ups is that I am really pleased I have kicked my diet soft drink habit. I'm 9 days in and have had to forcibly stop myself from seeking out "something" to put in my mouth when I've felt stressed or bored. It particularly hit home at work where I would normally drink 3-4 cans of diet soft drink a day!

Without it, I have realised how bored I am at work and how quick I am to "mask" those feelings with eating and/or drinking. With such a simple change comes a whole heap of clear thinking. I am so much more aware of how often I am feeling certain things and have started addressing them instead of masking them with food and/or drink.

One of the downs is that I haven't exercised since I joined the challenge. It has been about 6 months since I last properly exercised. The really disappointing part is that I was exercising 5-6 times a week for a whole year prior to this current lull and now I feel too intimidated by my own feats of the past to get back in to it. I can feel the disappointment before I even set foot out there, that I have lost all the fitness I worked so hard for - it is particularly evident in the weight I have put back on - 15 kilos in the last 6 months.

So while I continue on this roller coaster ride, I'm going to make the commitment that never again in my life will a whole week pass when I have not at least exercised once and most weeks at least 3-4 times a week.

Why? Because I am worth it and so is everyone else on this challenge. You are worth every minute you take to improve yourself.